Saturday, July 26, 2014

The Idea of An Ambitious Woman

He is so conflicted in this world.
As a boy they said be a man.
As a man they said he was a boy.
He hears voices in his head.
He wants to break free from his chains.
He wants to adapt .
He wants to feel loved.
He is accomplished and he is in love with her mind.
Never before had someone stimulated to the point of paralysis.
He was paralyzed.
Everyday he prayed asking for a great woman.
Everyday he kneeled down asking for a spiritual woman.
He wanted to be challenged .
He wanted to grow.
He saw that in her. He saw an opportunity to do better.
Everything he asked for he got and yet he was still afraid.
No one ever taught him to adapt.
No one ever taught him how to feel loved.
No one ever taught him how to love.
All he had been told as a boy was to be a man.
Now as a man he is being told he is a boy.
How could he want something so bad.
How could he need something so bad.
And yet run away from it.
They didn’t tell him it would be hard
They didn’t tell him it would be a journey.
They didn’t tell him that in order to grow, You have to break the chains.
They didn’t tell him that adaptation requires mental strength
They only taught him to fight with his fists.
They only taught him to fight in his silence.
He didn’t know the rage he had.
He didn’t realize how little he knew about his world.
He didn’t realize the bubble he remained in.
He didn’t know the real meaning of challenge and growth.
In theory it is what he wanted.
But he was never really ready.
He was never really satisfied.
All he thought about was self preservation.
Her greatness made him shrink.
For so long the world told him he was great.
They told him he was the leader.
And yet her intellect stung him. It hurt him.
The way she moved with grace.
The way she questioned everything and yet remained sane.
The way she lived in peace.
How could she be so much in one.
But isn’t it what he wanted? So he thought.
In love with the idea of an ambitious woman.
So he ran away. Back to his thoughts. Back to his world. 
Where happiness was limited and growth stunted. 

1 comment:

  1. Maybe he felt useless around the ambitious woman. His training to be a man has made him believe he had to be a provider and protector, now that there's nothing to provide or protect he feels useless. Sometime we all just want to feel needed.