Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Mommy, how do I be you when I grow up

She was a little girl with dreams.
Big dreams.
Everyday she woke up and asked her mom.
“Mommy how do I be like you when I grow up”
Her mother worried.
She worried so much .
She worried that if she told her daughter the truth.
Her daughters dreams would shrink.
Small dreams.
If she told her daughter how much she had sacrificed because of her feminity .
If she told her daughter how much she sacrificed because of her womanhood.
She was worried.
She was worried that if she told her daughter the truth.
Her daughter would no longer run to her in the morning and say
“ Mommy how do I be like you when I grow up”
Her mother wanted to tell her how easy labor was.
How easy the nine months were.
She wanted to tell her that the hardest part about being her was being her.
She wanted to tell her daughter that she could be anything in the world but her.
She worried so much.
How could I raise by daughter, with kinky hair and brown skin in a world that hated her.
Hated her for her blackness and her feminity.
But her daughter was five.
She realized for these past five years.
She had survived.
The truth was that while the world hated her. She loved her daughter and herself.
Her self love is what brought her daughter into this world and what kept her alive.
She worried less.
She worried less about telling her daughter the truth.
Her daughter asked her
“ Mommy how do I be like you when I grow up”


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